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[ 6 min read ]

Hey there Reader,

If you do not identify as a man, this is still a note for you to read. And honestly, once you read it, if there are men in your life that may need to read this....send and share it with them.

Last week, a conversation erupted in the Inner Circle community about the last episode of my podcast. And a woman in the community, an elder, stated that she sometimes finds she compares herself to everyone else in the community because of the age difference. She often wonders if she belongs in the space for that reason.

In response to her, my close friend and spiritual brother responded, validating her experience and thanking her for being vulnerable.

And then....he said this:

"I somewhat know how you feel, but rather than age for me it's always being the only male. It is sometimes discouraging being the only male in all of these amazing groups, but I've learned to enjoy and embrace everything and everyone regardless of that. I'd rather be the only man here then not here at all. Doesn't mean it doesn't bother me from time to time, but the good heavily outweighs the bad. And for that I am extremely grateful."

I read his comment and immediately became emotional.

One, for my brother and the moments of loneliness, however fleeting, he must feel constantly being the only man in the amazing communities he is apart of. Two, because there has been a rise in women and men healing and being in community, but separately and segregated. While I fully and completely understand the importance of sister/women circles and men's groups/spaces, another integrated approach is a literal need right now.

And three, for all the other deeply intuitive, in tune, spirit- centered, open minded and hearted men out there that have been taught to fear their desire to be in community with women. Who were purposely NOT taught the deep and nourishing benefit of being in relationship and community with women - outside of trying to fuck, pursue or possess them.

You.

There has also been so much upheaval and trendiness around modern feminism (I am not a feminist) and messaging around the detriments of patriarchy to women. And while I loudly support the due respect owed to women and our undeniable, invaluable, unquestionable power and contribution to all realms of this Universe. And the need to support each other in living in our natural, powerful state that has been diminished and stomped on by patriarchal systems and conditioning.

And while I ABSOLUTELY agree in saying fuck patriarchy...I say that statement fully understanding its detrimental effects on women....and on men.

On you.

Under this system, you are taught that you intrinsically "hold the power", but have forgotten that this perceived power, has come at the expense of your fullness. At the expense of your humanness.

And honestly, I cry for you....often.

This system has quarantined you into a prison where showing, naming and expressing your emotion is ridiculed.

Where exploring your softness is vilified.

Where prioritizing your rest, your well-being, your sensitivity, your healing, your humanness, is de-valued, debased and invalidated.

Where you subconsciously (or even consciously) believe you don't belong in spaces that center wellness and community healing because of what that might mean about you. Or because it is seemingly a waste of your time. Or because those are 'usually' spaces for women, but not for you.

My love, I want you to imagine me stepping in front of you, taking your face in both of my hands and lifting it to meet mine.

I support you in dropping the act you have been taught to keep up.

I support you in exploring what it feels like to share the fullness of your humanness, in front of and in community with women.

I support you in accepting the rare invitations to show and be yourself.

I support you in re-learning to value finding a healthy, optimal balance of masculine and feminine energies within you.

I support you in showing me and other women that you care, for us and for yourself.

I support you in re-learning and understanding the depth of importance of your presence, far beyond 'providing'.

It's also important for you to know, that yes, my audience and community is almost 100% women, but I also speak to you. I also make room and space for you. I want to be in community with you. If you are willing. I pray you are willing. There is always space for you in the spaces I create from this moment forward. Because, it is extremely important.

And I love you.

Okay? Okay.

So, if this note has spoken to you, take some time to breathe deep, sit with it and then consider joining the Inner Circle community. Be apart of shifting the dynamic and paradigm of women and men communing in healing, wellness and humanness TOGETHER.

We need this.

My brother Lyndon and I will be deep diving into this entire topic on the podcast episode releasing next week. This is definitely an episode you do not want to miss or skip over. I'll share more about that in my note to you next week.

Until then, everyone reading this...please take care, truly.

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Sending love,

Mel

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Don't forget to check out the "Things I've loved this week" below!

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#payablackwoman

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♥ Things I've loved this week ♥

~ Mel's Music Hour that took place on Monday evening in the Inner Circle. It was a COMPLETE VIBE!!!

~ The cornbread my dad made. Fucking delicious

~ Watching Season 2 of Sex/Life. So, I thought this season was trash BUT, I still love the ideas the show pushes us to face and think about. I LOVE anything that explores humans in relationship and varying relationship dynamics. And it also explores women's sexual desire in a very confronting manner. I still enjoyed that...but I'm not going to hold you...season 2 is industrial dumpster material lol

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